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Watch our Beach Volleyball Warm-up
Graham Kirrage, Paul Schaller, Paul Williams,
Mark Terry, Selwin Alexander, Chris Dixon,
Richard King, Alan Batmaz, Lewis Kirrage,
June, Stuart Angell, Tara, Pauline,
Janet, David Mabey, Bill Lewis,
Stuart Duffin, Jim Baker, Steve, Cornelius Wilmans
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| Position | Chairman and 2nd team setter |
| Nickname | Weeble |
| Occupation/Studying | Trying to retire |
| Volleyball High | Winning promotion to the Premier League |
| Volleyball Low | Losing a match |
| My most used phrase or word is | "Pint of Smooove" "Dont tell his mum" "That's my boy" "All you can eat" "Club funds" "yyyyyyyyyyyyoooooooouuuuusssssssssaarrrrrrrrrrrrr" |
| Favourite place in Dartford | Tiger Pub "a wicked pint of Smooth" |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | Fleetwood Mac's latest tour album - I'm in love with Stevie Nicks (but don't tell the wife). |
| Favourite Film | The Blues Brothers - My music and my sense of humour |
| Achievement most proud of | Coaching a bunch of Muppets called Dartford Volleyball Club |
| If I won the lottery I would | Clear off to the Bahamas and coach the club by phone |
| An interesting fact about myself is | If there is a nutter around, I attract them like a magnet. |
| CLUB COMMENT | Has brought the club through thick and thin, which is why he is bald. Even his moustache has now fallen off. Graham is available for autographs at the all you can eat Chinese opposite Dartford Church every Saturday night. |
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| Position | Setter |
| Nickname | Snoops |
| Occupation/Studying | Bosses little kids around during P.E. |
| Volleyball High | Season 02/03, winning the Kent Cup and very nearly winning the league. |
| Volleyball Low | Getting blocked by my own player from a back court hit |
| My most used phrase or word is | "This is my day off" |
| Favourite place in Dartford | The China Garden restaurant...Its all you can eat!! |
| Favourite All Time Music Album |
'Bizarre Ride to the Pharcyde' by The
Pharcyde. It proved that hip hop can be witty and crazy and not just
about pimps, guns and cash.
|
| Favourite Film | The Empire Strikes Back. I was taken to see it when I was five and it was a double feature with Star Wars. Darth Vader said he was Luke's dad!! Trippy stuff man. |
| Achievement most proud of | Making it this far in one piece |
| If I won the lottery I would | Fund the research into genetically splicing spiders and mice to create giant mouse-spiders to ensare humans in giant webs in order to steal cheese. |
| An interesting fact about myself is | I waded across the English Channel to win a bet with Enoch Powell. |
| CLUB COMMENT | Snoops has a rather fetching tattoo of Snoopy on his leg which makes his play more attractive to watch. |
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| Position | Setter |
| Nickname | Mopster |
| Occupation/Studying | Plays solitaire as an IT Manager in Barking |
| Volleyball High | Winning the 2003 Kent Cup |
| Volleyball Low | Trying to play volleyball at Cambridge 2002 Tournament with a hangover. |
| My most used phrase or word is | It was broken before I got here! |
| Favourite place in Dartford | Glaxo Wellcome Sports Hall, closely followed by The Paper Moon |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | By The Way - Red Hot Chilli Peppers |
| Favourite Film | Top Gun |
| Achievement most proud of | Everything!!! |
| If I won the lottery I would | have a lot of money |
| An interesting fact about myself is | I can juggle with 5 balls |
| CLUB COMMENT | Our trusty captain also has one of the best volleyball registration cards in the league due to his glorious (Neil, from the Young One's) hairstyle. |
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| Position | 4 Hitter |
| Nickname | Sooty |
| Occupation/Studying | Under cover assassin in the guise of a meat seller |
| Volleyball High | League defeat of UKC 2001/02 |
| Volleyball Low | (None) |
| My most used phrase or word is | |
| Favourite place in Dartford | Eat as much as you like Chinese! |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | U2 - The Joshua Tree |
| Favourite Film | The Shawshank Redemption |
| Achievement most proud of | Running the London Marathon |
| If I won the lottery I would | (He never answered this question which strengthens the club rumour that he has already won it. |
| An interesting fact about myself is | Andy Worhol painted my picture (above) |
| CLUB COMMENT | We are all scared of him |
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| Position | Middle Man! |
| Nickname | Big Boy (according to him)!!! |
| Occupation/Studying | Principal Prison Officer keeping in custody the nations undesirables for the Queen. |
| Volleyball High | Winning the Services tournament in the late 90's (Army, Police, RAF, Navy, Civil Services and Prison). |
| Volleyball Low | Not winning the above the year after! |
| My most used phrase or word is | "Don't mess with me...you messin' with me?...Don't make me mad..." |
| Favourite place in Dartford | Library Nightclub |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | Kind of Blue - Miles Davis |
| Favourite Film | The Godfather trilogy |
| Achievement most proud of | The birth of Jourdan (over 20 years ago) |
| If I won the lottery I would | Major blow out for the lads but still remain humble |
| An interesting fact about myself is | Am not easily fazed by events beyond my control |
| CLUB COMMENT | He will be modelling the new club strip prior to its release and is currently on shoot for the club calendar. Please contact the club for further photo opportunities with Selby at info@dartfordvolleyballclub.co.uk |
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| Position | Middle Hitter |
| Nickname | Scud |
| Occupation/Studying | Education Coordinator |
| Volleyball High | Watching Bill accidentally blocking his own player. |
| Volleyball Low | Getting injured against Strood twice in a row. |
| My most used phrase or word is | "Brilliant" and "Every ball" |
| Favourite place in Dartford | The derelict Old Jolly Miller Restaurant building, its listed, part of history, dates back to 1500 and completely boarded up. Brilliant! Says a lot about Dartford that does! |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | "Bless the Weather" by John Martyn (1971 Island Records), the lyrics kill me. It helps me make decisions and answers lots of questions. |
| Favourite Film | "Manhattan", "Annie Hall" and "Play it again Sam" by Woody Allen are all on the same par. |
| Achievement most proud of | Never seeing a Star Wars or a James Bond film which really annoys people and is a great conversation starter. |
| If I won the lottery I would | Buy the Old Jolly Miller Building of course! I would restore it to its former glory with old ladies serving lots of home made meals, samovars of tea and have puddings like hot rice pudding and peaches on the menu. Weekend nights would be a mixture of Jazz, Folk and Boogaloo nights, Saturday nights being "Blow Up". Oh yeah, and I might take my woman out for a meal at the Paper Moon (2 for £5.50 meal deal). |
| An interesting fact about myself is | Christopher Biggins once said that I was "a very talented young man". |
| CLUB COMMENT | The bloody mosquito is never seen without his volleyball clip board - bless him! |
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| Position | Doggy (or Setter if I have to) |
| Nickname | Captain Chaos |
| Occupation/Studying | Teacher Training |
| Volleyball High | Realising he can be a hitter too! |
| Volleyball Low | Playing badly against not good teams |
| My most used phrase or word is | I've got a headache! |
| Favourite place in Dartford | The sign saying "you are now leaving Dartford" |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | Busted - "Air hostess...I like the way you dress" |
| Favourite Film | Cannonball Run |
| Achievement most proud of | I play for Dartford Volleyball Club ha! ha! ha! |
| If I won the lottery I would | Use it to pay off all my debts, then I might have enough left over for a cup of tea to make it all better. |
| An interesting fact about myself is | I hate dried fruit. |
| CLUB COMMENT | No one gets the hump like Richard, especially when you sabotage his player profile and mention "Busted". |
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| Position | 4 Hitter |
| Nickname | "Peeps" - bit obvious really! |
| Occupation/Studying | Plays with corporate desktop toys while being a Managing Director |
| Volleyball High | Winning the Cup! |
| Volleyball Low | League Runners Up (Hard to please) |
| My most used phrase or word is | Sakat! |
| Favourite place in Dartford | There is nothing in Dartford. |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | I listen to anything. |
| Favourite Film | Face Off |
| Achievement most proud of | Too many to be mentioned |
| If I won the lottery I would | I'd make sure that "Sakat" Richard King is looked after! |
| An interesting fact about myself is | People don't know when I'm serious or not. |
| CLUB COMMENT | He debates every point even when he knows he's wrong, and generally annoys everyone. He once said during a game "You need glasses" then turned to a member of his team and said "actually...I went to the opticians the other day and they said I need glasses" |
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| Position | 4 Hitter normally |
| Nickname | Damien (666) |
| Occupation/Studying | About to be an action man in the Royal Marines |
| Volleyball High | Hitting over the net successfully |
| Volleyball Low | Not being able to play constantly |
| My most used phrase or word is | 'Av it! |
| Favourite place in Dartford | Any place where sport is being played. |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | Eminem - He speaks sense and is a good rap artist. |
| Favorite Film | 8 mile because Eminem is brilliant! |
| Achievement most proud of | Playing football at a Chelsea course and winning a penalty competition out of 50 players. |
| If I won the lottery I would | Go on holiday for a year, buy 10 or 20 cars and motorbikes, live in a mansion and give £500,000 to charity. |
| An interesting fact about myself is | I'm a giggle and an energetic athlete who is is wicked at football and is coming up in the world of volleyball. |
| CLUB COMMENT | Lewis - we said "an interesting fact"...not a lie! |
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| Position | Hitter |
| Nickname | Crazy Legged Crane |
| Occupation/Studying | Fiddling with Salmonella as a Bacteriologist |
| Volleyball High | Stirling Uni Girls Volleyball Coach |
| Volleyball Low | Being sidelined for 6 months with a haematoma in my hip |
| My most used phrase or word is | "You single"? |
| Favourite place in Dartford | Nowhere, hate the place. |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | The Wannadies, "Be a Girl". - Its just class! |
| Favourite Film | The Big Lebowski |
| Achievement most proud of | Getting my degree, so nearly didn't, so many times. |
| If I won the lottery I would | Give it all to charity (joke). Buy a boat and disappear for a while. |
| An interesting fact about myself is | How many do you want? I have dextrocardia, a rare condition where all my organs are reversed in my body. |
| CLUB COMMENT | We would have a 40 strong
women's team if it wasn't for Stuart scaring them off one by one with his
wooing ways. He tries to be friendly but then gets encouraged by their
pretend
laugh. His application for Head Coach of the Women's team was
rejected by the board, the female players and in fact the Local
Authority.
The club has also had an e-mail from Wessex asking for their shirt back. |
| Position | 4 Hitter |
| Nickname | June the prune |
| Occupation/Studying | |
| Volleyball High | Diving for a ball once. |
| Volleyball Low | Realising I was never going to dive for the ball ever again. |
| My most used phrase or word is | |
| Favourite place in Dartford | The Naturist Club |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | |
| Favourite Film | |
| Achievement most proud of | |
| If I won the lottery I would | |
| An interesting fact about myself is | |
| CLUB COMMENT | This is what you get when you don't fill in your form! |
| Position | Very low. |
| Nickname | Talos (After "Talos the Mummy") as he's always inured and wrapped in bandages. |
| Occupation/Studying | Still a Banker I think? |
| Volleyball High | New beer cloth for the back of his shorts |
| Volleyball Low | His digging posture. |
| My most used phrase or word is | Ouch! My...(please delete as appropriate): arm, hand, leg, foot, eye, shin, knee, pelvis, spine, neck, toe, wrist, fibula, glutes maximus, lower trapezius, whole body. |
| Favourite place in Dartford | A&E |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | R.E.M - Every-body hurts |
| Favorite Film | "Talos the Mummy" of course! Followed by "Carry on Doctor". |
| Achievement most proud of | Almost making it through a whole game without...you know... |
| If I won the lottery I would | get a giant paper cut from the cheque! |
| An interesting fact about myself is | He is the most injured person in Dartford. |
| CLUB COMMENT | The club wishes to be pro-active about Dave's injuries and would like to give Tips To Prevent Volleyball Injuries please also refer to: www.jacaranda-music.com/nails.html |
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| Position | Middle Man |
| Nickname | Player-CAM Bill (if only Sky would take the Kent League more seriously) |
| Occupation/Studying | |
| Volleyball High | |
| Volleyball Low | |
| My most used phrase or word is | |
| Favourite place in Dartford | |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | |
| Favorite Film | |
| Achievement most proud of | |
| If I won the lottery I would | |
| An interesting fact about myself is | |
| CLUB COMMENT | Winner of the 2002/03 most improved player, then sold his trophy back to the trade a week later. |
| Position | Middle Hitter and Setter |
| Nickname | Old Stuart |
| Occupation/Studying | |
| Volleyball High | |
| Volleyball Low | |
| My most used phrase or word is | Bugger |
| Favourite place in Dartford | Dartford Church. |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | |
| Favorite Film | |
| Achievement most proud of | |
| If I won the lottery I would | |
| An interesting fact about myself is | |
| CLUB COMMENT | A friendly man with a nice moustache, couldn't be bothered to fill his form in either. |
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| Position | Midfield |
| Nickname | Slippery |
| Occupation/Studying | Sod all |
| Volleyball High | Representing Kent in the EVA Inter County Championships. |
| Volleyball Low | Diving for a ball on asphalt court during a naturist tounament. |
| My most used phrase or word is | "Clear up your loose" |
| Favourite place in Dartford | Holy Trinity Parish Church: Its elegant Norman tower and other interesting features. |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | Spotlight on Gladys Knight and The Pips - a soul masterpiece! |
| Favorite Film | A Clockwork Orange - A work of social vision, years ahead of its time (The sex and violence is good too)! |
| Achievement most proud of | Too modest to say |
| If I won the lottery I would | be very surprised, particularly as I don't do it. |
| An interesting fact about myself is | Too personal to say! |
| CLUB COMMENT | Jim fondly remembers the days when "Volley Ball" (a new game for gentlemen, mixing hand ball and lawn tennis) was made up of 9 innings. |
| Position | Setter |
| Nickname | T ma |
| Occupation/Studying | Works for a reputable bank |
| Volleyball High | Too many to put down here |
| Volleyball Low | Too many to list here too!! |
| My most used phrase or word is | I have it |
| Favourite place in Dartford | Zen's on a Monday night then a drive round the one way system, divert up to swanley's ASDA 24hr, then home. |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | Raiders of the pop charts 1 and 2 ( buy one get one free) or the kids from fame again , the Nolan greatest hits |
| Favourite Film | 9 1/2 weeks (The Director's cut) |
| Achievement most proud of | Scaling the empire state building with the aid of sink plungers |
| If I won the lottery I would | Buy the largest coach in the world |
| An interesting fact about myself is | I can burp to the national anthem while drinking a pint of beer |
| CLUB COMMENT | She is officially our club social organiser. |
| Position | All positions |
| Nickname | Nemesis |
| Occupation/Studying | Quality Assures products sent from the US to Dartford for Murex Biotech |
| Volleyball High | Second in the league last year |
| Volleyball Low | Fractured 2 fingers in volleyball a few years back |
| My most used phrase or word is | |
| Favourite place in Dartford | Bluewater |
| Favourite All Time Music Album | The Best of Shania Twain, just love her music! |
| Favorite Film | Gladiator, lots of action and a good story. |
| Achievement most proud of | Passing my Medical Technicians and TQM Exams |
| If I won the lottery I would | Buy a house at the beach and get myself a restaurant. |
| An interesting fact about myself is | I was born in South Africa, part of a big family (12) and moved to England in July 2003. |
| CLUB COMMENT | His windmill hits at the net get the crowd on their feet! |